so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize