walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
