Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize