I didn't shave. On purpose
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
