I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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