ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
