Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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