VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
