ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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