The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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