in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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