Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
