I wanna passion pit in your ass
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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