True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
