I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
