I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
