She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
