You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
