my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
