You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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