walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
