She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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