I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
