Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
