Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
