just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
