at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
