i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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