note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
