What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
