I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
