Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
