I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize