Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
