Your dad touched me again.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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