Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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