He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
