There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.