I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
