I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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