I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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