Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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