I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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