the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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