just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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