um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
