Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
