I swear she didn't look like that last week.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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