The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
