but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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