and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
