I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am one with the molecules
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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