I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
