just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
