When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
