Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
