i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
