Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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