why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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