Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
