I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
