it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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