i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
