I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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