Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
