She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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