Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
